REPORT JUST IN FROM DAVE, DROITWICH SPA - 11th January 2009 - The Crab is seen scuttling around the stables of his girlfriend Becky (yet to appear on Crabsworld) somewhere deep in Yorkshire. Bored and unable to assist with mucking out the horses due to a heart condition, The Crab investigates the feed room in search of a snack before going out for lunch with 'the parents in law'. With his exceptionally keen nose and eyesight of a vulture, The Crab spies a bucket filled with horse nuts and a lone carrot. Making a judgement call that the horse was probably getting plenty of fibre anyway, The Crab took the carrot in his pincer and quickly ate it. Minutes passed.... Becky shouted "Where did the carrot go from this bucket?" to which The Crab replied "Oh yea, I nailed it"........ Becky went pale and explained to Mat that the carrot had been hollowed out in order to disguise the powerful medication which her horse was currently undergoing to cure its rare 'Equine Parkinson's Disease".
Assuming that side effects would be minimal, The Crab, Becky and her parents went out for lunch. Half way through the meal, The Crab began frothing at the mouth and all blood drained from his face. Assuming that he was simply eager to have the mash passed from the other side of the table, the family ignored him, until he fell of his chair and began writhing on the ground. The Crab was admitted to Whitby A&E at 3.45pm today, only to be released at 6.30pm, having had his stomach pumped and been made to drink liquid charcoal to cleanse his system. Apparently the pills are not recommended for consumption by invertebrates and caused acute poisoning in The Crab's system his blood pressure dropped to a dangerous level. A swift recovery will hopefully follow. Becky was not to know that all edible matter should be kept well away from The Crab, as when blood sugar levels run low, he will consume anything organic - see earlier posts i.e. The Happy Snapper and Cheeseboard Cam. Ends.
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