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Thursday, March 09, 2006

Henri le Gros

Rumours that Henri's weight has incresed as a result of his lavish lifestyle and infamous "after snow parties" have been circulating...... Agents Moreton and Marsh report that he even makes the full size Ducatti 540 VRX (which he rides around his apartment) look quite small. Posted by Picasa

Untitled

An extreme and dangerous individual Posted by Picasa

Le Snip

Later on that evening we see Marsh cutting off Henri's flowing locks which he has been growing since his arrival in the Alps in 2001.

Oblivious to the trimming going on to her right, Moreton exclames "I get it", as the punch line of a joke told earlier that day finally registers. Posted by Picasa

The Golden Unicorn

Here we see special agent Marsh briefly letting her guard down and appearing to be amused as Henri tells her a story about his pet Pigmy Unicorn (just to the left of camera) as he lifts its tail with his right hand and tells the story of how his Great Uncle Theakston procured it from a band of savages during his grand tour of the empire in 1873. Note the expression on the face of the girl in the background who has heard this story many time s before. Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Bubbles

Distraught from having his hair dramatically trimmed by special agent Marsh whilst special agent Moreton strategically sat upon him, Henri removes from the inner pocket of his Extreme Snow Vest, a worn, black, American Express credit card with the name Clifford Coxe Ltd written across the front. Holding the beer tap with his left hand for stability in his intoxicated state, Henry proceeds to spend his annual sock budget (approx €1800) on Bollinger, claiming that he needed a "pick me up"….. moments later, Henri was seen talking to a nervous exchange student from the Netherlands, to whom he was explaining the subtle difference between the land / air speed of a grouse and a Capercaillie in late August. Posted by Picasa

Le Mullé Bleu

Initial reports from Crabs agents in the snow indicate that Henri has changed both physically and mentally. He is a bottom feeder, picking off weaker morsels - here he is stalking a cheese soufflé which has strayed from the pack.

Initial facts gathered:
Weight - 19.75 stone - an increase from his natural mass, caused "due to the altitude you idiot!"
Hair Length - somewhere between Meatloaf and Cher - necessary for catching knarly airs and to compliment baggy clothing.
Annual Expenditure - C x 2 (where C = Cliffords annual income). Recent excessive spending has been on socks, which he claims can only be worn once because "they start to make my feet feel funny".

Note - this research is being carried out by specially trained operatives. If seen, Henri should not be approached in any event. Posted by Picasa

NEWS FLASH FROM THE DEEP

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The Crab's arch rival Henry CoxE, aka Henri, aka Le Mullé Bleu has raised his ugly head once again. Now in his seventh season in Val d'Isére, Henri has intoduced himself to The Crab's boss (who was enjoying a week skiing). Henri, son of Clifford, family of Hollid, great grandchild to Great Uncle Theakston, has let slip a couple of tales from Crab's dark marine history, resulting in a thorough dressing down for Matthew from by the head of Land Acquisition at Crabs firm - Barnacle Builders. Reacting like a snapping turtle, The Crab has organised an operation to be carried out in a pincer movement by two agents. The findings of this dangerous mission will be posted on this site in due course Posted by Picasa