White Bait

June marks one of the highlights of The Crab's dietary year, with the White Bait run along the shallow coastal water of southern England. This specimen was found washed up on the shore during a hot early summer's day in June 2008. Easily identified by his bleached white skin and lean frame, this nervous creature is rarely seen in direct sunlight, as it is prone to dessication.

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Pillerton Priors

Mr H Horselife, a Warwickshire farmer (see earlier posts - The Muscles from Pillerton Priors etc) was recently savagely attacked by a clay pigeon. Reports suggest that Horsefly, who has a history with aggressive birds, was attacked whilst shooting in Shropshire. "The pigeon came from a nearby Hill" an onlooker said. Horsefly, not renowned for his physical strength, was unable to fend off the attacking disc and according to paramedics, lost nearly half a pint of blood (nearly two thirds of his body weight) in the incident. Thankful to still be alive, Horsefly is now left with a Harry Potteresque scar running down his pale forehead, which doctors say will remain with him forever.

Captain Crab

Although not officially the Best Man for T C Bamlet's Stag (see previous posts), The Crab was very much involved in proceedings, as his nautical knowledge and affinity with the water was invaluable on a Longboat-based Stag Do. Here we see The Crab deep in his comfort zone like never before.... pincering a pint on the side of the river.

Bamlet Stag Cont..

As mentioned in the previous post, Mr J Canby provided entertainment in the evenings at Bamlet's Stag Do. Revellers from the Greater Norwich area flocked to watch this unusual event. Here we see Canners executing the climatic section of his infamous Litino Street Dance set. Slowly, deliberately, Canners' arm was extended towards the onlooking crowd and then with a flick of the wrist, he drew a beautiful young local towards him to her obvious delight and swiftly concluded what was a memorable dancing event.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

The Stag Do of Mr T Bamlet was a Norfolk-based riverside adventure, attended by an unusual crowd of West Country farmers. During the daytime, Bamlet was towed behind a longboat in a Thomas the Tank Engine paddling pool. In the evenings, Mr J Canby provided entertainment (see later posts). Sunday 25 May was marred by one of the Longboats mysteriously coming free from its mooring in the early hours of the morning and ending up in the North Sea by the time the morning broke.

Clam Can (click the link not the picture)

There is no doubt that The Crab is currently on a high. In his private and work life, things appear to be under control. To mark these happy times and the onset of spring, The Crab and a small dancing band gathered at the weekend to express themselves via the medium of dance. Please click on this link: http://www.jibjab.com/sendables/share_view/zFOXF4PB31UqISvHiJSvqL5D

Hello?

Since leaving the south of the country, The Crab has kept an eye on his friends, taking great delight in their successes from afar. A recent success story is Matt's friend Tom who's sporting career is being overtaken my a musical one. Following a brief spell as an actor (playing the ship's cat in Red Dwarf) Tom then went on to play rugby, but quickly found that his flowing curly hair, thick mustache and astonishing vocal ability propelled him into the music industry. Here we see him on the front of his debut album - reportedly written for The Crab.

Krill Cream

Regardless of the state of the slopes, The Crab was in the Alps and ready to party. Always keen to maintain a slick external appearance, here we see The Crab preparing for a night on the tiles with a tub of his dermatologically tested and WWF approved Krill Cream™ branded hair gel.

Snow Bored

2008 marked The Crab's second skiing trip, the first having been in 2001 (which was marred by an incident with a Japanese tourist). Here we see the moment at which The Crab arrived in the resort, only to find his nemasis Henri waiting to greet him. The Crab was lured to the slopes after receiving a message from Henri reporting that the powder was incredible..... The two were clearly at crossed purposes, as The Crab noticed that Henri was pale and had clearly not been out in daylight for some months.