Rumours are spreading that The Crab has been taking dietry suppliments in order to enhance his looks. This recent photograph shows The Crab next to Mr Huge Horsefly (The skinniest man in Warwickshire) - when compared to previous images, it is clear that a radical transformation has taken place.
The Crab has friends in numerous professions from fencing contractors, to postmen, to bar managers to the unemployed (see 'Trigger' in previous posts). Postman Pat (whose job cannot be disclosed for security reasons) is a longstanding friend of the Crab. The Crab, as a gesture of good will, has asked if Pat's quest for "adventures" with females could be publicised on The World.
Rumours that Mr Huge Horsefly has gone off the rails have been substantiated. Easily led and frequently bullied, Horselife appears to have left his simple rural life for the seedy and sordid underworld of the Shipston on Stour swinging scene. Claims of JJ also being involved in this type of behaviour are looking more and more likely to be true as the previous post and photograph show.
Having recently acquired a girlfriend and aparently getting his life back on track, JJ The Spice King (The Crab's favoured asian cuisine advisor - see previous posts) is spotted showing his true colours at the Warwickshire Hunt AGM, having clearly misunderstood the dress code 'smart casual'.
The Warwickshire Hunt Panto was a huge success, with everyone enjoying the show, until Mr Matthew Swift's cameo performance..... Shipston's theatre housed a capacity crowd of 250, with 249 of them thoroughly enjoying this scene (see photograph) in which Matthew attempted to make love to a dominatrix (I felt that the director had missed the point of a family pantomime). HOWEVER 1 lone viewer (The Editor) noticed that Matthew had taken his role slightly more seriously than even the director could have expected (see front section of Matthew's red pants.....
During a recent trip to the nation's capital, Mr B Turner (financial adviser to The Crab) is photographed moments after receiving a telephone call from a neighbouring farmer asking him how his harvest went. Turner quickly realises tha he has forgotten to harvest just over 8000 acres of wheat, due to a recent raft of pressing social engagements.
Anxiety has taken over The Crab as a result of recent news that Henri has sustained an injury as a result of a day's heavy drinking, an angry shop keeper and some ripe brie. This photograph (taken moments before the injury occurred) shows Henri identifying the brie..... the images which followed were considered too harrowing to show on crabsworld.
